Don’t let your love for shoes take over your life. I
wouldn’t say this if it weren’t true.
If you are friend or foe of mine then you will know how much
I love shoes. I have been in a dysfunctional relationship with them from the
very beginning. I think it started when I went to college. I no longer had to
wear the brown canvas shoes my school had forced me to wear for 10 years. I was
free to wear shoes that had high heels, shoes that allowed my toes to peek, and
most of all shoes that didn’t have to endure rain, sun and weather.
I binged. I bought shoes like I was born to walk.
Stilettos, pumps, ballets, slingbacks, slip ons, flip-flops – I had all of it
and even knew the difference between them.
Nothing comes free. I injured my Achilles tendon balancing on
high heels. I cracked my ankle when I slipped and fell down a flight of stairs
all because my new shoes didn’t have enough traction. I have lost my balance
and grabbed unsuspecting people. I have fallen flat on my face. I have landed
on my behind. But I never regretted it. I loved my footwear no matter how badly
it treated me.
I have spent plenty of time and dime on this footwear
fetish. Whenever I walk by a shoe store my shoe sense starts to tingle. The
shoes send out a signal only a few women can pick up. Like a possessed human I
walk into the store just to hear all my minions scream “Pick me! Pick me!”
I carefully pick the ones I like. I have to be fair. They
are all good. But only one will make the cut. (Ok – I lied – many will make the
cut if there is a sale).
Sometimes I shoe shop for a reason. For example - I buy a
dress or a watch or a pair of earrings, they need a companion to go with. So I
buy shoes. So I bought more and more shoes. Soon my shoe rack couldn’t take it anymore and it crumbled under its weight.
I had a custom shoe closet made. It’s a closet just for shoes. It
had enough capacity to house my greed. I was generous enough to give husband
and children some space to throw in their footwear too.
Husband is a shoe bummer. He hates shopping for shoes. He
will walk into a store and pick a pair (that looks exactly like the one he is wearing), pay for it and leave happily. This whole
experience is fun for the salesman too.
When I shop for shoes, husband spends his time surfing the
net. He promises me that he has read everything on the internet twice in one
shopping expedition.
I have given him my insights into shoe shopping yet he will
pick-pay-leave. He just doesn’t know to how to use my resourses.
Then one day, a horrible thing happened. A thief entered my
neighbourhood and stole everybody’s shoes. Well only the good stuff. He snuck
into the well guarded gated community and took what will fetch him a pretty
penny in the black market. He took husband's leather shoes, suede shoes, his
countless basketball, tennis, football and other athletic shoes. He even took
off with my daughter light-up shoes. I lost thousands of rupees worth of shoes
in one night.
What he didn’t take was my baby’s sandals, slippers and any
of my shoes.
Now I should be happy. I was, except that I wasn’t.
You see, I have spent so much time and money on these shoes
and the thief, nasty as he is, failed to see how great they were. My years and
years of hardwork is not worth a dime in the black market.
The only thing he took that belonged to me was my aerobics
shoes – and I don’t even like them. They were comfortable and didn’t send me to
ER with a broken ankle. But come on – did he really want that bucket of sweat??
So I have concluded. Shoes are here to serve us. We are not
here to serve them. Even now I shop for shoes but I don’t let them take over my
life. Just kidding!
